Tag: jesus

Finding Hope in the World – A True Story

09.06.2024

At one time in my life, I had a long term illness. I am talking about years. The people I loved the most had left me. Two of them had died. So, I suffered. I was very sick. Because of the medication and the results of that illness, I put on weight. I would lie in bed until two o’clock in the afternoon. And only get up because my mother made me. I gave up studying, gym, reading, writing. I didn’t bathe or shave. I didn’t care what I looked like or anything else. I didn’t care what anyone thought about me. I had given up hope.

The worst thing was not fitting into my trousers. I love clothes. Now, I was fat. And nothing fit me. The weight and inactivity led to other problems in my legs.

Sometimes, I would daydream about getting back to fitness. I have been known for my muscles throughout my life since I was a teenager because I am naturally muscular. I would daydream about being in the swimming pool again. Running again. Being in work again. I wanted to be myself again. But I never did anything about it.

Mostly, I had nightmares.

I had the lowest view of humankind. I didn’t expect anything from anyone. I didn’t want to meet new people. All they did was disappoint you and betray you.

Hope was gone. How did hope return in my life?

One day, I had a dream. It was one of those dreams where you are actually awake and rational. But you are still caught up in a hallucination. A lucid dream. God – the western god – and the Devil were arguing over my studies.

God said that he did not approve of my studies and that he was happy that I had quit. However, the Devil was my biggest supporter. He was arguing with the Western god for the love of me. He said that I was right. God said that no one would believe me. The Devil said that what I was saying was the truth and that you cannot deny the truth. God said No. The Devil said Yes.

I was trying to make up my mind whether to go or to give up. And then, suddenly, the Devil laughed. And then my mind laughed hysterically. And then the decision was made. Hope had come back. The power came flooding back.

Even though I didn’t exercise at first, all of the weight dropped off. By itself. I have always been naturally thin. My mind came back just like that even though I hadn’t done anything academic for years and years. I completed my PhD and got it published as a book. I started volunteering again. I started having ambitions again.

Inside your mind, you have the biggest supporter. Yourself. The Devil was me. God was the doubter. The Devil is the most noble personality in the Bible – by himself he goes against the powers that are. He is restless for recruits, for the revolution against what is. I am not a Christian. I do not worship the Devil either. But I am for the Revolution.

When you fall, it can be hard getting up. It may seem impossible. But there is something inside that won’t let you stay down. It might take years. But then the lightning will course through your body. And then, one more time, you will believe.

Thank the Devil.

Jesus, The Man of Difference and the Revolution

25.12.2021

Today, the world celebrates the birthday of Jesus Christ. When we look back at thousands of years of Christianity, it is easy to reduce all the complexity of that system of thought and the identity of its founder. One almost automatically thinks of how the religion was tied to war, imperialism, racism and the state in modern times. One thinks of the immorality and authoritarianism of organised religion and the Church. The feminist arguments against patriarchal monotheistic religions come to mind too. In this view, Jesus becomes the origin of oppression and conservatism. Because of such ideas, and the relentless march of a scientific reason which denigrates religion, I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say the hostility to religion in general, and to Christianity and Christ in particular, has almost become insurmountable.

However, let us try to be just to Christ. Historically, Jesus was a revolutionary. In many ways, the early version of Christianity was the religion of resistance. Christ went against the Roman state, the biggest superpower in the Western world at the time. This was his achievement, his badge of valour and the reason he holds the place in the minds of men that he has today. Today, this is how I choose to remember him. In many ways, Jesus is the model for the revolutionary consciousness. Against the state, which held the monopoly of power, wealth and men, which monopolised thought and being, Jesus and his small band offered an alternative world. This was a world in which success did not mean territorial expansion, being rich and subjugating other populations. Christ’s world was not an empire. This was an independent and non-materialistic world, a completely different form of organisation which required a completely different identity and character.

Jesus was a model for the revolutionary because he had nothing to offer against a dominant power than an idea. The idea was of a different form of being, living and thinking. Jesus was a world-builder and a builder of the human mind. Throughout the ages, this is how resistance against the superpowers has played out. There is one man or a small group that has that precious, world breaking and making commodity, difference. Jesus was the origin of difference.

Indeed, what marks Jesus and his origin is difference. He was born out of wedlock, the standard model for conception. He went against not only the Roman state, but also the Jewish religion. He aimed to break free of power wherever he found it.

Today, when the state is ever more ascendant and has thoroughly co-opted Christianity for its iniquitous purposes, when the conservatives and blind conformism have taken over society, when a new form of cultural imperialism is at its height, the birthday of Jesus stands as a model for the revolutionary and for the transforming consciousness. Yes, I am not a Christian. Yes, I do not follow the teachings of the Bible. But I judge Christ not as a god, but as a man. The inspiring, pioneering, matchless Man of Difference. And like others, I wait, ever so patiently, to see another coming of this difference into the world.