08.01.2023

Dear Diary, you are the friend that I have constantly before bedtime to talk to. I can tell you mostly anything. I look forward to talking to you all day. But over the past few days, I have been thinking about ending my friendship with you. There are so many things to do. Do you make me feel better about life? I am wondering. This is the longest time I have been friends with you. Each time I write, the situation changes. You have gone from being a letter to just a diary. And that diary is a shared diary for anyone that wants to know anything about me. Should I stop sharing?

Today, I was not in the mood to do any writing. The four holidays I have had recently, I have not done much work in them aside from my personal projects. Why should I work like a dog all the time when other people around me just relax all the time? Where is my appreciation and status for working all the time? Sometimes, you just have to look at things like that. You have to see what reward you are getting for the extra mile that you go. And, perhaps, I need a recharge so I stop thinking like that.

Even while I write, I have planned to get up earlier tomorrow morning and to go in and do some extra writing. How can I forget that it is my passion, my ambition, my vocation in life to write? I am not like other people that will just waste my talent or give up on it because it is hard and unrewarded. Culture has to go on despite the pricks. If I don’t get up now after I have said it, you are justified in telling me off about it.

I had a haircut in the Indian barber’s today. They had just one person on cutting the hair even though they had three chairs to cut people’s hair in. Cost cutting. What do you expect from the people in this area? They have no customer service skills, no manners. When I went to the bus stop, even though I was right in front, the bus driver didn’t stop. I ran all the way to the next bus stop and beat him there and got on (have I told you I am fast?) Then, I heard him ranting and telling all the customers off. He gets paid an obscene amount for an uneducated person and he is still not happy. You know why he wasn’t happy? He won’t admit it. They never do. It’s because he was white and he had to serve all the Indian people in my area. I really doubt he would have talked that way to other white people. You can tell who is racist straight away from how differently they act towards different groups of people. It is only your own stupidity when you give them the benefit of the doubt and expect them not to be like that.

I got the battery changed on one of my watches today – it is a personal favourite. It was amazing that it just started working – the last time I got the battery changed, the watch didn’t run. It is probably the difference in the training at the watch repairers – this time I got the watch done at the Timpsons in Selfridges. Of course they would have better trained people there.

I managed to get quite a few titles at the charity shops in my local area. They charge extremely modest amounts for some top stuff. I have to make more time for reading in my life. I have decided that after this month, I will not work on all of my holidays. Why? I am a reader. Reading is more enjoyable than just working all the time. I have things to learn that I need for myself and for the future generation.

I had pizza for lunch today. I have avoided eating it for several years because cheese is bad for the planet. The way I justify it to myself now is that it is on reduced so they would just throw it away if nobody bought it. It would be a waste. That’s the only way I can eat it without a guilty conscience.

The one thing I bought in the Marks and Spencer’s sale is a purple jacket. It is shiny. That completes my jacket quest. The only colour I have missing is orange and I will look out for that. Speaking of an orange jacket, the simple lady that gets on the bus was on today when I went back home. She kept on screeching out ‘Looly’ at the top of her voice and laughing hysterically. Every two or three seconds. I wonder why she is always getting on at the same time in the mornings as me and coming back at around the same time in the evening. Surely, she can’t have a job? If she does, how does she behave at work? Or maybe she does behave at work and I am being unfair and discriminatory to her. Perhaps the context decides the behaviour.